This bedding stayed mint in its package for the last 5 years. This is the first time I ever put it in a crib. Yes, it was meant for Elizabeth. But I know she would smile to see her little sis using it because I was so excited to use it.
I remember matching paint swatches to that crib bedding, and picking out a pink and yellow that would look perfect with it.
I remember how I bought the pink and yellow paints to match and painted my first baby's room, yellow with pink butterflies I sponge-painted with stencils. I wonder what Elizabeth was thinking to herself as she saw me painting those walls for her.
I can't believe we're coming up on 5 years this month. Spring cleaning my house today reminded me of that last leg of pregnancy and my spring cleaning kick during which I washed all of Elizabeth's little outfits and put them in her drawers. I can't ever know how my life would have changed had we brought that little baby home from the hospital. That is something I will forever wonder. Each year I ask myself, what would she look like now? Can you believe I would have a soon-to-be kindergartener? What personality traits would be unfolding? Would I have had Isaac so soon after? Would we even have Amelia yet?
How would I have coped with being a new mom if I hadn't had such an experience to make me appreciate it so much more?
I could spend the rest of my life asking questions. What should we do for her birthday? is one that comes up this time of year. I wanted to make her a cake like I made Amelia a cake- and make it butterfly themed, because Elizabeth has already grown her wings and flown away, and we are still caterpillars crawling around down here. I thought it would be nice to have an angel on it too. Would you put a baby angel, or a 5-year-old angel? Will she forever be my baby, or is she growing with me?
How I miss you tonight, my sweet little baby. For you will always be my baby to me.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post! You're an inspiration and your thoughts are so touching. My heart aches and rejoices with you for our sweet angels and how much they've taught us (to be grateful for) and how badly we miss them (to ache for).
I really have no words right now. But I truly did enjoy reading this. It was great to see you the other day. I guess I will just sit in silence for a moment and remember our butterflies.
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