Saturday, May 12, 2012

I had a Dream


The morning of general conference, I had a dream.  I was feeling movement in my womb and found out that I was 20 weeks pregnant with a little baby girl, and I hadn’t even known it.  John and I were feeling excited, and joking about how awesome it was that I had skipped over the morning sickness without even realizing I was pregnant.  But then it dawned on me that I still had the IUD, and I was wondering how on earth I got pregnant in the first place.  At that same moment, we found out that the baby wasn’t going to live because the IUD was in there with her.

Then I woke up, wondering if the dream meant something.  I turned on conference shortly after, and the succession of talks sent a clear message to me that family is my most important calling in this life, that it was time to have another child, that although it would be difficult, I would be given the strength to meet the challenge, and that this life is about sacrificing as the Savior did.  Every talk that morning spoke that message to me in its own way.

I was terrified.  I have serious psychological issues about being pregnant for a very valid reason.  After losing our baby girl, the nine months of repeat pregnancy felt like a slap in the face, and a torturously long time to wait to hold a baby in my arms.  I was bitter about having to go through it all over again.  I was completely unsure about what the result in the end would be.

The thought of having another child brought extreme anxiety over the next few weeks.  Every time my two children were stressing me out, I felt the added fear of having another one in the mix.  My depressive moods were darker and heavier on my mind and heart.  I tried to ignore the idea altogether, but couldn’t get rid of the responsibility and obligation I felt about the messages I thought I’d been given.

Then, the other night, it happened again.  I felt movement inside me and realized I was pregnant with the little girl I’d been warned about.  I started to panic because I knew I hadn’t taken the IUD out even after I’d been warned about her coming in a dream.  I found myself in the same doctor’s office finding out I was 20 weeks but our baby wasn’t going to live because I still had the IUD.

When I woke, I was baffled that I had dreamed the same dream twice.  It might be easier to suppose that I was dreaming it because subconsciously I’ve been fretting over it.  Every time I think about taking that huge step of getting the IUD taken out, I feel like I’m not ready and push the idea out of my head.

But this morning, I dreamed about her again.  This time she was full term, and I was holding her protectively like I never wanted to let her go.  She was a sweet little doll, and I didn’t want anyone to touch her.  I saw her beautiful face and can still remember it.

I read somewhere that our brain is not able to create faces we have never seen before, so our dreams are always filled with the faces of people we know from our past.  With both Isaac and Amelia, I had dreams about my delivery and holding them in my arms for the first time, with the sweet assurance that everything was going to be okay.  Both of those dreams came to pass just as they’d happened in my mind.  They were a sweet message from Heavenly Father in my time of fear and worry during both of those pregnancies.

Now I have a choice.  I can continue ignoring this feeling in hopes that my life will be easier without another child to deal with.  I can feel anxiety thinking about whether or not the dream means anything, or whether I really did get a message from Got about having another child.  I can ignore all of these things and do what I want for myself, and what I think is best for me.

Or I can have faith and put my trust in Him that He knows what He is doing with my life, and He knows what’s best for me.  I can take His hand and let Him guide me through this scary journey ahead, and hope that He will be there when it’s more than I can bear.  I can trust that His will is more important than mine, and follow the Savior’s example of letting mine go.

But I am still terrified about what lies ahead.

3 comments:

Holly Strong said...

I have been slacking in reading blogs. But I have to say when I listened to conference I said, "Someone is getting the "I need to have a baby feeling" and it's not me!" Good luck with your decision. It is hard to take those steps in fear and to really know what those dreams and feelings mean. You will make the best choice you can and then you just need to be happy with whatever you decide.

LittleBrownFamily said...

That certainly is scary. It seems to me, and I may be wrong, that the first two dreams were a warning while the last was a promise. Perhaps the Lord has a child He is going to send you no matter what, and whether you choose to keep the IUD in or take it out will influence her life. I don't know, but it's a thought.
That said, there's a lady in my previous ward who concieved with an IUD. Her baby is due in 5 weeks, apparently healthy and strong, and the IUD is expected to just come out with him when he is born.
May you be blessed with strength, peace, and happiness as you make your decision. It is a difficult one, and understandably so.

Eliza said...

I find dreams intriguing. So many of the prophets received revelation through that medium. I would suggest fasting and going to the temple. From reading between the lines I sense you already know what to do. But taking that leap of faith isn't easy. Love you.